Be Still My Heart

Image result for heart beat

Yesterday, as I carefully screened my lab work, my cursor hovered over the final report for my electrocardiogram. The screen said the test was final and that the report had been sent to the Cardiologist for final review. I didn’t think to open it…why would I?

This morning, I logged back onto the lab website to see if my Zinc test had come back. It was the only value missing. Disappointed that it was still missing, I went to close the window when I noticed a small box in the top right hand corner of my screen. I clicked on it and it opened up to a pdf of my electrocardiogram tracing.

To my surprise, there was a notation in bold letters on the front- Abnormal ECG!!!

HOW DID I MISS THIS LAST NIGHT?

I was so consumed by seeing the lab results come in yesterday, that I didn’t even worry about the cardiac as it wasn’t a concern, not at all.

My word…my heart- how could that be? I have a strong heart, everyone always tells me so. The heart of a well conditioned athlete they said. Sure, my heart rate is slow but that is due to my high level of fitness right?

Who am I kidding, my fitness is non-existent. Its hard to be fit when you can’t maintain your balance doing the simplest of tasks and your muscles alternate from tired to spasmodic all the time. I stopped running after multiple drop foot experiences and one major fall. I used to be fit…I miss being fit…

Does this mean that the tightening around my chest, shooting arm pain, finger tingling and jaw pain are actually cardiac symptoms? It makes sense but all tests showed other wise previously. Now, I need to see a cardiologist to rule out heart disease.

I had accepted the possibility of neurological disease, I am not ready for cardiac too…

When it rains it pours…